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kolibri_ghost (2017)

by KOLIBRI_GHOST

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1.
this could all be over in an instant anytime all our pretty achievements our most holy works and ideas there's nothing we can do things come to an end let it go now from this somethingness into nothingness, this could feel like home we will be delivered from the burden of being a thing and all the demons and nightmares will simply cease to exist fear not broken one we all know your pain you're at home here we might be alone there might be no point but it's kind of beautiful
2.
be quiet 03:14
sit down, be quiet hold your breath because all the words you will say are unnecessary so unnecessary no more white noise no more talking static you've been exposed no need to impress anyone anymore for we know what you are we know what you are We know, you're tired, of this dreary process all this running up the hill was unnecessary so unnecessary we just want you to know that it is okay to be who you are no need to impress anyone anymore for we know what you are we know what you are
3.
change 03:15
this hysterical need you have for validation, honey, it's so fucking sad I watched it change into a problem, baby and I know that you're just like a bleeding animal with raving eyes but that doesn't change the way I feel you surely feel so alive but with this you make everybody pay the price and somehow they are all to blame this might sound bitter but if you stay on this course you will be alone cause I guarantee no one will take your shit any longer and if you swing in every direction one day you will find yourself alone and forgotten where do we go from here put the dog to sleep
4.
wolves 03:47
I am clearing out the wolves den a voice loud enough to bring down walls in this age of rejection my mouth gives birth to truth and beauty for I will walk there, where the beast is on the prowl where the earth is burned to ashes for I will walk there, with a lit torch in my hand to throw it in the nest and run you will bear the wounds of all the battles you have never fought it's good to know the name of the monster to hunt it down after the wave of numming noise dies away a new born silence is about to settle down
5.
travesty 03:00
patterns repeat in slight alterations comfortingly trivial no surprises new car smell puddles on the sidewalk waiting in checkout lines gridlock on the way home calm and composed much to achieve, and to stand for and to believe in something well-disposed tidy and neat, friendly and clean rewind repeat again furniture store choking on luke- warm instant coffee in a paper cup watching tv over microwave dinner shows with canned laughter heartburn and sudden sadness for the lack of something better I take part in this travesty why, won't I just disappear completely for the lack of something better dental plans cheap car insurance fastfood on the parking lot dogs in the distance trying to be nice no new regrets sorry the focusgroup did not like it at all
6.
pity party 03:24
back off or someone will die here and it probably will be me I hold on to what I know even if it's just... self loathing and being a cynical asshole all the times that I dont know better sometimes weirdly clinical other times as brittle as a bird this rage is just the blind fear of a wounded animal(...) facing this dreary prop-like existence and trying to transcend the primate and accept the distinctive sameness in everything,in every waking hour this disenchanting interchangeability, we have seen it all: the bells and the whistles, the smoke and the mirros welcome, take a seat and join the pity party where we demand significance and feel entitled... could someone please say that I'm great and so intelligent ? cause it seems like I really need this
7.
mute 03:29
hypnotised by the world all alone in this sound echo in my head and numbing everything away feeling through cellophane with my paperthin skin I am thinking in tounges and all thats left is still the same I'll rip my flesh from my bones just to feel in control again and I don't mind that my sad little actions are merely illusions believe me, i know, i know please just play along what is there left to say when everything has been told wandering aimlessly without a single soul to see picking up all the shards, a meek attempt to hold on trying to reanimate what's forgotten and long gone and for a moment there let this be all there is
8.
itch 03:43
this little creature wants to display his multicoloured tailfeathers with a sway this charming mamal needs a big paycheck perpetual admiration and a pat on the back this quaint monkey wants to take a stand spellbound by some holy book in his hand its trying everything that might scratch that itch the funny thing is, it is an itch you can't scratch moneymaker heartbreaker icon of truth getting attention living in a mansion drowning in love validation against the alienation try to fill the void all it really wants is to belong so the poor bastard will sing any song supposed to be engaging, polite and nice gotta play along with the collective lies and it's gonna behave and it's gonna walk straight and it's not gonna ever fucking deviate family friendly, keep it nice and clean devour the intruder and defend the queen moneymaker heartbreaker icon of truth getting attention living in a mansion drowning in love validation against the alienation try to fill the void
9.
still there 03:26
here we are drifting around older than we've ever been looking for anything in this same old, same old hole running from the same things that we ran from all the time never once tried to check if it's still there, still there we're almost sobered up from the afterglow, headaches and a bad taste in the mouth how much does it take ? and we pray we won't fall don't know anything at all and we pray we won't fall may we always be able to remember and to forget as well
10.
vine 03:07
a kiss on the eyelid, a song for the night, yet the worst is still to come the stifling weight of the things that you did and the things that you didn't do farewell my reminder the embers are gone gone with the wind the crushing guilt of the things you once felt and the things you still feel burn it to the ground and say "I'm sorry for it all" shattered into million pieces
11.
hounds 03:36
I thought i had forgiven but sadly I need blood I wish I could be a better man but apparently I am not how long can you outrun the hounds that i send for you ? and what will be left of what is left of you now ? it's good to know how to swim in a melting world I saw, I knew but I couldn't let go the water is disturbingly calm today the leaves in the trees, motionless and all the animals hide away in eerie silence I am in the eye of the hurricane a dead-eyed skyward stare sitting and waiting for new information regarding you

credits

released June 2, 2017

written, performed and recorded by sascha dettbarn

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KOLIBRI_GHOST Brunswick, Germany

somewhere between sadboypop, singer/songwriter, indie and electronica.

KOLIBRI_GHOST is a soloproject of painter and musician Sascha Dettbarn.

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